Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Secular modern rationalism rides again!

CONCERNS about rises in promiscuity and pre-marital sex in modern society are unfounded, with monogamy still the dominant pattern of behaviour, research suggests.

The first global survey of sexual behaviour, published today in The Lancet, reveals that there is no universal trend towards earlier sexual intercourse, despite reports of increases in underage sex and teenage pregnancy.

The research, which included data from 59 countries, showed that most people had only one recent sexual partner even with shifts towards later marriage and cohabiting relationships in most parts of the world.

The findings support data from the Office of National Statistics, published last week, that showed Britain is a largely monogamous society, despite increasing rates of sexually transmitted disease (STDs) and the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe...

...The ONS findings suggest that the dramatic increase in the number of sexually transmitted infections diagnosed in recent years is due to a minority of promiscuous people, with one in fourteen women and one in eight men reporting having more than one sexual partner in the past 12 months.

In other news: a survey showed that 99% of bloggers worldwide believed that ‘everyone else was having more fun than I ever bloody did.’

Of this number, only 1% believed this was ‘a good thing’. 4% of respondents blamed ‘global warming’ for the perceived increase in frivolity, while 95% agreed that it meant the world was ‘going to hell’ in a ‘handcart’.


Blogger Peter Burnet said...

Oh, "research suggests", does she? Well, that's modern research for you. Always flaunting her charms shamelessly and coming on all dewey-eyed and suggestive with the promise of a hard factual climax, but never "concluding" anything in the end, if you know what I mean.

We'd all be better off if the little vixen wore a veil.

November 01, 2006 3:05 AM  
Blogger Susan's Husband said...

"published today in The Lancet" — let us know when it's published in something with a bit more credibility, like The Sun.

November 01, 2006 6:03 AM  
Blogger Harry Eagar said...

Considering how early sex used to begin in most of the world, I find it credible that it hasn't gotten any earlier, even if it is the Lancet saying so.

November 01, 2006 8:31 AM  
Blogger Duck said...

In other news: a survey showed that 99% of bloggers worldwide believed that ‘everyone else was having more fun than I ever bloody did.’

In still other news, a follow-on survey to the one that showed 99% of bloggers worldwide believed that ‘everyone else was having more fun than I ever bloody did' showed that 0.37% of that 99% of bloggers, or 0.3663% of all bloggers suffer from a condition known as Vixitosis. Sufferers of Vixitosis project the image of sultry, seductive women into discussions of every sort, but mostly discussions related to evolution, religion, technology and any social or political trend that has emerged subsequent to 1899. The warning signs include the injection of terms such as "siren", "vixen", "young French coed" or "minx" into discussions that have no or only tangential relationship to sexuality. For instance a blogger, being alarmed at some new social development such as the sale and consumption of fried chicken on Sunday, will imagine that this development has been accomplished by seductive young college aged women wearing low cut, form fitting sweaters, pleated skirts with hems above the knees, bobbisocks and cute Oxford shoes subverting the manly stoic virtues of society.

Little is known of this condition at this time, but it is believed that it is highly treatable if caught early, meaning below the age of 40.

November 01, 2006 9:05 AM  
Blogger Peter Burnet said...


You can't turn off the amateur psychoanalysis can you, you old slut?

November 02, 2006 2:05 AM  
Blogger Duck said...

Yes, she is a lusty wench, but I can't help myself!

November 02, 2006 11:20 AM  

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