Saturday, February 24, 2007

Yeah, but can he find Jimmy Hoffa?

Jemes Cameron will not let sleeping ships lie, nor apparently will he leave empty tombs alone. Time is breaking the news that Cameron will announce at a New York press converence on Monday that he has found the tomb of Jesus, along with the bodies of Jesus, his mother Mary and Mary Magdalene:

Brace yourself. James Cameron, the man who brought you 'The Titanic' is back with another blockbuster. This time, the ship he's sinking is Christianity.

In a new documentary, Producer Cameron and his director, Simcha Jacobovici, make the starting claim that Jesus wasn't resurrected --the cornerstone of Christian faith-- and that his burial cave was discovered near Jerusalem. And, get this, Jesus sired a son with Mary Magdelene.

No, it's not a re-make of "The Da Vinci Codes'. It's supposed to be true.

Let's go back 27 years, when Israeli construction workers were gouging out the foundations for a new building in the industrial park in the Talpiyot, a Jerusalem suburb. of Jerusalem. The earth gave way, revealing a 2,000 year old cave with 10 stone caskets. Archologists were summoned, and the stone caskets carted away for examination. It took 20 years for experts to decipher the names on the ten tombs. They were: Jesua, son of Joseph, Mary, Mary, Mathew, Jofa and Judah, son of Jesua.
Israel's prominent archeologist Professor Amos Kloner didn't associate the crypt with the New Testament Jesus. His father, after all, was a humble carpenter who couldn't afford a luxury crypt for his family. And all were common Jewish names.

There was also this little inconvenience that a few miles away, in the old city of Jerusalem, Christians for centuries had been worshipping the empty tomb of Christ at the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Christ's resurrection, after all, is the main foundation of the faith, proof that a boy born to a carpenter's wife in a manger is the Son of God.

But film-makers Cameron and Jacobovici claim to have amassed evidence through DNA tests, archeological evidence and Biblical studies, that the 10 coffins belong to Jesus and his family.


This could be really, really big, or a big fizzle. I think it will be really, really big.

8 Comments:

Blogger Oroborous said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 24, 2007 5:57 PM  
Blogger Oroborous said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 24, 2007 5:59 PM  
Blogger Oroborous said...

I too think that it'll be really, really big, since the cultural iron is hot for this type of thing, but it's all sizzle and no substance.

"DNA tests and Biblical studies" prove that the 10 coffins belong to Jesus and his family ?

Good golly. Only the guy who had a nightmare about a machine emerging from a fire, which machine had been sent from the future to kill him, and turned it into the idea and screenplay for The Terminator, could buy into that idea 100%.

Any rational person would conclude that it's an interesting find, but that DNA tests and Biblical studies are of very limited practicality in nailing down the precise identity of 2,000 year old remains.

As an example of James Cameron's past follies, I give you one of his divorces:

Linda Hamilton and James Cameron were reportedly romantically linked on the set of Terminator 2 in 1991. In 1993 they had a daughter together, but Hamilton moved out in 1994. They apparently reconciled in 1995, and they got married in July 1997, while Cameron was filming Titanic.

But after Titanic was released, Cameron apparently spent more time with one of his stars, Suzy Amis, than with his wife, and Hamilton filed for divorce in Dec. of '98. During their 17-month marriage, they were separated for eight months.

Cameron was eventually forced to give her more than half his revenues from Titanic -- over $50 million -- in 1999.

So: Marry the woman who'd previously walked out on you, (a woman who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but who refused medical treatment for her condition), DON'T GET A PRE-NUP, and then have an affair with a co-worker on the eve of the greatest financial triumph of your career.

Sheer genius.

If Cameron had hard evidence, then I'd listen, but I don't trust his judgement one inch, outside of the entertainment world. His expertise is a mile deep and an inch wide.

February 24, 2007 6:01 PM  
Blogger Harry Eagar said...

They compared the DNA with the Shroud of Turin? Buddha's Tooth? Abraham's Bosom?

Sheesh.

February 25, 2007 12:49 AM  
Blogger Mike Beversluis said...

Harry: Judging by ego, Cameron's.

Also, Geraldo Rivera suddenly woke up and in the stillness of the pre-dawn morning, wondered who just stepped on his grave.

February 25, 2007 10:13 AM  
Blogger Peter Burnet said...

Here is a more complete account of the story.

Duck, I'm sure you could spin a dozen posts out of this. I just can't see how Christianity can possibly survive the combined brilliance of Canadian film producers and scientists from Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario.

It makes a man proud.

February 25, 2007 10:21 AM  
Blogger Brit said...

I'll go for fizzle.

February 26, 2007 6:31 AM  
Blogger Hey Skipper said...

Brit:

I'll see your fizzle, and raise you a whiff.

February 27, 2007 4:26 PM  

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